What remains of marriage?

People argue about whether Lawrence v. Texas will lead to “gay marriage.” How much does it matter if our current legal system is accepted?

Traditionally, the most basic significance of marriage was that it was the accepted setting for legitimate sexual relations. Marriage therefore had to do with children — sex naturally leads to them — and was essentially permanent, since children need a stable environment in which to grow up. Another attribute of marriage was the obligation of support between spouses, a result of the permanence of marriage and the sexual division of labor within it.

None of those things apply any more. The Supreme Court says that sexual relations among unmarried people that have nothing to do with having children are fully legitimate and must be respected. The Court also says that it’s a choice for sex to lead to children, and a choice that has no fundamental connection to marriage (the Court has essentially abolished illegitimacy as a permissible legal category). In the meantime, the states have made marriage terminable at the will of a single party and established “palimony” for unmarried partners. And the sexual division of labor is now against public policy.

As a legal matter, marriage now has no special connection with sex, children, permanence, sex roles or mutual support. What we’re left with is the name, which may not matter much, together with entitlement to various social, employment and insurance benefits that are steadily being extended to homosexual and unmarried couples as well.

As they say, it’s later than you think. It should be clear to all involved though that the defense of marriage makes no sense apart from a much broader counterrattack having to do with sex in general, and beyond that to comprehensive questions of social organization.
Posted by Jim Kalb at June 28, 2003 04:32 PM | Send
    

Comments

In nearly every case, where we blame the left, it is rather that the guardians of tradition have been asleep at the switch. Even now, most are fighting the last war.

Rather, we need to take positive steps to build up marriage and our other institutions so there is no weakness to exploit. Otherwise it is we who become “nattering nabobs of negativism.” Too long we have allowed conservatives to be painted as sourpusses who have little to contribute to national life.

In some cases, revival is not an option because there’s nothing left to revive. We have to start from scratch. What a job! But the alternative of giving up is unthinkable.

Posted by: Gary on June 28, 2003 10:22 PM

Chesterton talks about true conservatism as being revolutionary. The revolutionary is a reformer. Most of conservatism today is merely reactionary. Conservatives try to hold on to a corrupt tradition. Fighting the silly ideas of the left are important but eventually one needs an idea worth fighting for. Today, conservatives fight to hold on to marriages which are no longer assumed to be faithful, forever or fruitful. We fight to hold on to an institution that can give us health insurance. To stand against gay marriage is important. To stand for the true idea of marriage is more important. We shouldn’t just fight for the status quo.

Posted by: TCB on June 29, 2003 12:48 AM

The question of how a conservative—whose leading commitment is to preserve the existing social order—is to act in a society that is already radicalized has been a serious problem for some time now. It has become far more pressing with the Supreme Court’s overthrowing of all morals legislation (for that is the plain implication of the Texas sodomy decision) and its establishment of racial quotas as a constitutional principle. Will the mainstream conservatives now finally realize that America is NOT basically “Ok”? Will they now finally realize that in order for America to be the country we believe it to be, and a country we believe in, it has to be radically changed?

Posted by: Lawrence Auster on June 29, 2003 10:56 AM

This morning’s Fox News Sunday backs up Gary’s argument. The generally conservative Bill Kristol thought that the Court decision wasn’t so bad and predicted that in the near future marriage of whatever variety will be a private contract; and the usually boringly predictable liberal Juan Williams demurred because homosexual marriages deprive children of the role models they need.

Evidently, then, we ordinary poeple can no longer depend on our usual thought-leaders to apply our basic principles to current problems. Right and left, we’re all going to have to start thinking for ourselves! Horrors!

This confusion and shifting of positions may be due to the relative newness of the issue in public policy. The list of prescribed positions hasn’t yet been memorized, by either Right or Left, because it hasn’t yet been settled by protracted debate. And that’s partly because of the insistence of some homosexuals on calling themselves conservatives and of some conservatives of accepting that self-definition. Another reason is the difficulty of locating the boundary between public and private in ways consistent with other tenets of conservatism and liberalism.

Although I deplore Kristol’s complacency, maybe the confusion is a good sign: the slow awakening of a sense of threat, and the start of a nationwide debate. Until now the homosexual-privileges movement has had the momentum as well as the optimism that comes from an aggressive program. Could the resistance be just starting?

Posted by: frieda on June 29, 2003 12:01 PM

Mr. Auster, there is something I think we must accept, and that is that what we are seeing is the fulfillment of what God’s own Word foretold. We surely can recognize that having split the atom and with science now intruding into the building blocks of biological life, the Lord cannot be far from intervening.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof…” (II Tim 3:1-5)

“Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their consciences seared with a hot iron; forbidding to marry…” (I Tim 4:1-3)

And read Matthew 24 again.

Ironically, if these things which give us so much grief were not happening, it would call into question the veracity of God’s word and the truth of Christianity itself.

Even though we lament the state of things, we should not be surprised, and even as we continue to stand for the right, fighting what seems a losing battle, we can take comfort in the fact that God is bringing His purposes to pass.

No matter how dark the days ahead will be — and they will be very dark indeed — we who believe in Christ can look ahead with confidence and hope to the time when “there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” (Rev 21:4)

Posted by: Joel on June 29, 2003 1:07 PM

Actually, I meant to post this in your reply to Mr. Anderson, but it’s surely no less appropriate on this thread.

Posted by: Joel on June 29, 2003 1:08 PM

Frieda sees it too. Rabbi Daniel Lapin says:

“The struggle in America today is between those who see a role for faith in America’s future just as our founders did, and those who want to vigorously eject faith from the public arena.”

Elsewhere in his book “America’s Real War” he expands on this to claim that the real divide is between people of faith and people without it. Other classifications are secondary.

Thus we see similarities between secular liberals, secular “conservatives” like Andrew Sullivan and libertarians who despise traditional values and religion and neocons who are merely indifferent.

Of course, on the left are John Spong and the Jesus Seminar who in the name of true religion seek to trash traditional faith. But some of those who seem to be liberal and vote Democratic do hold something resembling orthodox faith. They are offended by the shape of things to come. They hold the views of the old liberals and did not necessarily sign on to radicalism. I myself have several friends like that.

Let people of faith band together — Jews, Christians of many stripes, even gasp! Mormons and Muslims — to fight this thing and build together a brave old world.

Posted by: Gary on June 29, 2003 3:00 PM
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