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The presidential campaign: who wins?
If the contest is between a lying leftist globalist who sounds intelligent, and a smug peevish ignoramus who can’t even bother paying attention to or refuting his opponent’s lies and dangerous statements, who will win? Kerry (standing tall, looking dignified and polite): I have always been completely consistent in my statements about the war in Iraq. Bush (standing hunched, looking like some seedy backwoods patriarch who’s been woken out of his sleep by a dumb nephew and is very irritated about it): You can’t send mixed messages and be a leader. My opponent sends mixed messages. Kerry (with a slight, gentlemanly smile): As president, I will give nuclear fuel to Iran. Bush: (face twitching in annoyance) You can’t send mixed messages. What kind of leader is that? How can you lead our troops and send mixed messages? Kerry: Iraq is a disaster. We should not have gone to war in Iraq. I’ve always been very clear about that. Bush: It’s hard work, democracy is work. We’re working hard. Kerry: Saddam Hussein was a threat to the world that could not be tolerated. I’ve always been very clear about that. Bush: I’m telling you, what we’re doing over there, it’s hard. Kerry: To bring stability to Iraq, we need global stability. What America needs is a president who will recognize that there can be no global stability as long as America has nuclear weapons. Bush: How can you lead as long as you keep sending mixed messages? Kerry: Not only will I destroy all our nuclear weapons and disband all research programs for new weapons, but I will reduce the U.S. armed forces to one fiftieth their current size. There is no excuse for the United States of America to have armed forces larger than those of the Netherlands. Bush: Building democracy—it’s hard work. You can’t have mixed messages in a democracy. Kerry: As that great visionary Strobe Talbott said, in a hundred years national sovereigny will no longer exist as we know it. What we need is a president who understands that vision and moves America toward it. In furtherance of that end, I will make Strobe Talbott my Secretary of State. Bush: We’re working really, really hard. And you can’t succeed in this hard work if you send mixed messages. Kerry: To move us even more rapidly toward a peaceful and stable world in which the only unilateral action will be that of the UN itself, as president I will support a Constitutional amendment requiring that all foreign and domestic policy in this country must be approved by the UN Security Council. Bush: What my opponent just said is absurd. You can’t lead this country, you can’t lead the world, if you use mixed messages like my opponent is doing …
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