How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on which breed you ask, as shown in this enjoyable post that has been circulating around the Internet, at the Steve Sailer website and elsewhere. Everyone reading this will have a favorite. Mine is the one about labs.

Border Collie: “Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.”

Afghan: “Light bulb? What light bulb?”

Golden Retriever: “The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?”

Rottweiler: “Just one. You want to make something of it?”

Lab: “Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I?”

Jack Russell Terrier: “I’ll just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and furniture.”

Cocker Spaniel: “Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.”

Pointer: “I see it, there it is, there it is, right there … .”

Greyhound: “It isn’t moving so who cares?”

Australian Shepard: “First I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle …”

Boxer: “If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit falling off the chair…”

Golden Retriever #2: “I’ll be glad to change the light bulb for you, but first can’t we play catch with the tennis ball, or frisbee—and then I want to lick your face and rest my head in your lap and look up at you with my sad eyes. What, you’re changing the light bulb yourself—you didn’t have to do that—but I looooove you so much for being my friend and doing that.”

Dalmatian: “Just one, but I will really hate the new bulb.”

Wolf-dog hybrid: “Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What’s it made of, what’s inside of it, what will happen if I drop it. I might change it, but let me think about it. You’re not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea. I think I’ll change that light bulb!”

Pit bull: “Just one, but then I’ll hang on to it, dangling from it until the ceiling falls in.”

As Sailer points out, some liberal will no doubt complain about all this stereotyping.

And here’s a dog’s prayer:

Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Posted by Lawrence Auster at March 25, 2006 02:20 AM | Send