Are friendships between whites and blacks possible?

Last month a reader, DoubleThinkNot (here is his blog), told how a fairly close friendship he had had with a black co-worker came to an end after the man, who was a graduate of a good university, danced in glee over the acquittal of O.J. Simpson, and the man explained that he was happy because the verdict was “payback” for all the things whites had done to blacks, among which was that they had “stolen” black civilization.

I just came upon the entry this morning and posted this comment:

I think that the reader’s experience is fairly representative. A white person has a friendly relationship with a black person, and thinks his black friend is normal and sane. But then at some point the black friend reveals what he really thinks about whites, and his beliefs are so irrational and hateful that a friendship with him becomes impossible. I am not saying that this is true in all cases, but in many cases. One of the lessons is that if a white person wants to maintain a pleasant and respectful social or professional relationship with a black person, he must keep the relationship very superficial, so as not to find out what the black really thinks.

Of course, this lesson would only apply to normal, i.e., non-liberal, white people. Your average white liberal would not be offended by a black friend who thought that O.J. Simpson was framed by police, or who danced in joy at Simpson’s acquittal, or who thought that whites had stolen black civilization. Yes, 17 years ago white liberals were shocked at blacks’ collective ecstasy over the Simpson verdict; but white moral and intellectual surrender to blacks has progressed a great deal since then.

- end of initial entry -

CO writes:

It is not possible for a normal, i.e., non-liberal, person to have more than a very superficial friendship with a liberal of any race. I’ve tried it. You’ll find out eventually what they really think, whether or not you want to.

LA replies:

Your point is valid. And since the number of black non-liberals in America can be counted on the fingers of two hands, you’ve answered my question as well.

Doug H. writes:

What are the implications for marital relationships?

My nephew is in a long term relationship with a black woman. Her sister is married to a white man. One of my closest friends is married to a black lady. All that said, I think these are very much exceptions to the rule in black and white relations.

One very peculiar note. In Crestview, Florida, you see more black females with white males than all the places combined where I have lived and visited during all my military years of traveling. One of the wealthiest families is a black female/white male relation of advanced age. Several of the largest businesses here are black owned and our town council is majority black, while the town is overwhelmingly white.

LA replies:

The town council is majority black, while the town is overwhelmingly white? That’s bizarre. How could that be?

NS writes:

Interestingly enough, my husband and I have found that it is easier to have an honest and friendly relationship with lower class blacks than those in the middle and upper classes. They are surprisingly forthright about a lot of things. My husband works with a 40-something-year-old black ex-con at a family bar. They are bouncers there. He would be the first to tell a white girl not to go to a certain nite club because it is “too dark.” He jokes with my husband that black men have it easy—no one gives them a hard time about fathering all those kids and relying on white guys like my husband to support them through welfare. He is not picky about his taste in women, but he is honest about his preference for white women.

He is a stereotypical ghetto male—felony convictions, raised in the urban slums, smokes marijuana, has dreadlocks, wears doo-rags, engages in sexual activity in dark corners in public, etc. One odd thing that he does, though, is dip. He often has a large wad of it beneath his lip. I laughed when I found out, commenting that it was not typical of blacks. He admitted to smoking Marlboro cigarettes too. (Most blacks prefer Newports.) And he often refers to himself as a “silverback.”

My point to all this, though, is that I would prefer his refreshingly honest and generally cheerful company, despite his vulgarity, to the obnoxious and self-righteous snobbery and blatant anti-white racism common among middle and upper class blacks. He knows the “game” (the black tax whites pay, for example) and he openly acknowledges it without trying to justify it. With men like him, what you see is what you get. There are no pretenses.

It is the middle and upper class blacks, the Obamas, Al Sharptons and their followers, who serve to instigate the lower class blacks, similar to the Sixties university students whose protests and nihilistic philosophies encouraged those of the lower classes to engage further in criminality and promiscuity. When the ignorant and the poor have leaders like Obama, Sharpton, Jackson, Wright, and Farrakhan, is it any wonder they do what they do? These are false prophets leading black Americans straight over a cliff, taking many white victims with them.

Paul K. writes:

I agree with NS that lower-class blacks are more likely to speak the truth about race than are the elite. Years ago, through my job, I spent a lot of time with a black professional football player who had a contract with us. (I’m keeping this vague for the sake of my anonymity.)

He had grown up in a ghetto and had been involved in petty crime, lots of fights, and several run-ins with the police, though I don’t believe he was ever incarcerated. He was a very charming and gregarious person. Unlike sheltered, privileged blacks like Obama and Eric Holder who have had to cultivate a black identity, complete with the requisite resentments, the football player was for real and unafraid to say exactly what he thought.

Among other things, he told me that after he signed his first NFL contract, he went home for Christmas gave everyone in his nine-member family $10,000, the largest tax-free gift allowable at that time. Shaking his head in disbelief, he told me, “Do you know that before the week was over every single one of them asked me for more money?”

He recalled one of his cousins asking him to comp him tickets for a bowl game. “That’s all I need,” he said he told his cousin, “me down on the field playing football while you’re up in the stands robbing people.”

To a female cousin who made repeated requests for money, he replied, “Maybe you wouldn’t need so much money if you didn’t keep squirting out babies.”

I wouldn’t call this man my friend, exactly, as we didn’t have much in common, but he was an honest guy and I felt comfortable with him.

Karl D. writes:

I have found that it is highly problematic to be friends with a typical black person. By typical I mean in the sense of being highly liberal and believing all the anti-white things that go along with it. I found this to be even more true as I got older and began to take life a lot more seriously than in my youth. When I was in junior high school I was friends with a black kid. We had classes together and would hang out at lunch time as we both had an affinity for martial arts films and science fiction. He was also noticeably more intelligent than the other blacks, which made him something of an outcast himself.

After graduation we were zoned for the same high school. Our junior high was about 70 percent white with the rest black and Hispanic bussed in from the ghetto. Our new high school was in the ghetto and predominantly black and Hispanic. I will never forget the first day of school. Most of us white kids were walking together in packs in a sort of daze, coming to terms with the fact we had to survive the next three years in this place. It was a jungle. Then I saw my black friend from junior high walking with a couple of black kids. Not only was I happy to see him as a friend, but I figured it would be good for me to show that I was friends with some blacks merely for my own well being. I waved to him and said hello, he barely looked at me and grunted “Yeah, what’s up,” and kept on walking.

I have to say, I was really hurt by that. All of a sudden I was the white devil who could not be associated with, much less acknowledged. The only other time I had been made to feel in a way similar to that was when I was confronted by blatant anti-Semitism as a child by an adult. But I digress. Fast forward to a couple of years ago. My black friend from junior high contacted me through Facebook. We got re-aquatinted to a degree and I never mentioned his slight. He is still very liberal and sees racism around every corner. The things he and his black friends say about Zimmerman would curl your hair. There is no logic. Facts don’t mean a thing. Zimmerman is guilty, guilty, guilty, and racist white America will let him off though he deserves the death penalty. I have commented in as diplomatic a way as possible about his views on the Martin case and other things involving white racism and was politely acknowledged and then found myself persona non grata once again. So in the end, it is possible to be friends with blacks to a degree, but only if you dance to the liberal tune or keep your mouth shut. I for one will no longer live a lie or muzzle myself. If that means I will no longer have any black friends, then so be it.

The real irony here is that behind closed doors blacks will admit things about their own race that they would never utter in front of whites.

Renee writes:

I have to agree with some of the commenters. The commenter who was surprised at the educated black man’s resentment of whites doesn’t realize that this man was educated to think the way he does. He is typical of blacks who are groomed by white liberals, but don’t know it. This phenomenon has been going on ever since W.E.B. Dubois who, until Barack Obama, was the black man who was the most influenced by white liberal thinkers ever. He also interacted with very few blacks growing up, particularly poor blacks. Contrast his ideas with that of Booker T. Washington who was an actual product of slavery and the black community, and you will see how early this trend started.

I am a (mostly) black woman who has white relatives and grew up in a predominately white Midwestern town. I went east to a very liberal college. Nothing prepared me for white liberal students’ need to verify that I was a victim of racism at every turn, and that I felt blacks were being kept out. There were very few blacks at this school, most of them slightly conservative, and we all agreed on one thing: the reason there were so few blacks there was that a school practically in the wilderness with no business program could not attract a lot of blacks. The lack of blacks was not due to racism. No white liberal would believe me on this point. I was constantly asked what it was like to be a black at this school and whether I felt uncomfortable around so many whites. I quickly learned to avoid white people obsessed with the black experience. They were only interested in being entertained by me (they would compare the black students to each other and favor those who were the most ‘hood) or in finding in me an object for their paternalism. Many blacks did not see through this.

Here’s another example of white liberals’ attitudes toward blacks. I have an African friend married to a white man. We are often at events mixed with white Americans, Africans and a few American blacks. One man who is the typical successful angry black man came regularly to some of these events. He would wait until most, but not all, of the whites had left, and then start yelling about racism and how he would kill a white man, and other violent things. I decided to tell this guy he was out of line and he had no right to talk that way. I asked him for the specific experiences he had that made him feel as if all whites were out to get him, and that he could treat all whites as if they are guilty racists. He could give me none. He merely called me a sell-out and other nasty things.

Afterwards, my African friend’s white husband told me that I needed to be more understanding and that I just didn’t understand what this guy had gone through. I asked him to be specific about what he meant by “what this guy had gone through.” He did not give me a clear answer. He made it clear he believed this guy had every right to say what he did and that I was out of line! He—the white man—thinks by taking this position he will get respect from the black man. He doesn’t understand that this guy will only tolerate his presence, but never respect him.

LA replies:

Renee’s anecdote powerfully illustrates something we have all seen to varying degrees: that white liberals will automatically support or rationalize any anti-white statement or behavior from blacks, no matter how false, vile, or violent.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at May 18, 2012 10:23 AM | Send