Hoodie on the loose

Reader Alex P. has forwarded an e-mail providing a “composite sketch of the Toronto Eaton Centre shooter” and new details about the perp. It was circulating over the weekend, before the gunman was arrested:

Toronto police have now released additional details about the still-at-large suspect in the Eaton Centre Shooting, previously described only as some sort of raceless, faceless individual wearing a dark hoodie. This updated and more informative description should help police and public to apprehend the perpetrator.

The brand of the hoodie is not yet known, but police note that criminal clothing are usually unbranded “knockoffs” rather than official licensed garments from legitimate retail establishments. The hoodie wanted by police is therefore probably not from the Eaton Centre itself, but from one of the city’s suburbs, with Scarborough and the Jane/Finch Corridor being the leading contenders as of press time.

(It is, in fact, the pre-eminent Sociological theory that the “Brandism” practiced by “superior” branded merchandise against “inferior” unbranded clothing makes unlicensed merchandise feel “dissed” or disrespected—which then gives the knockoffs no choice but to turn to a life of crime.)

If you think you spot this homicidal casual-wear, do NOT approach it, but call police instead. A reward is offered for tips leading to its gentle apprehension. Authorities promise the hoodie will be given a full and sudsy rehabilitation, and then re-released into society.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at June 05, 2012 01:37 PM | Send